.Awakening - Spiritual Lifestyle - Parenting
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My mother often says an old Kannada Proverb , pronounced as 'mUru varShada buddi nUru varShada tanaka', which literally means, "The demeanour [acquired] at 3 years of age [prevails] till death [=100 years of age]". In other words - Habit is second nature.
The Brain of a newborn baby is not developed and is under development. It is just forming, and able to do the most basic functions (those of eating, drinking milk, breathing, and other voluntary / involuntary functions). We all know this, and it's not a new piece of knowledge. However, the child's MIND is still the same pure and powerful magnet that is catching the Energy that the surroundings around it (the child) are exhibiting. Parents are the very first reference point for the child. I hope you're sure by now that the Brain and the Mind are different (with different functions) and not one and the same. You can read about this on the article Who are you?
You may have read on the article How Relationships work that the child (the soul) that is attracted by Parents is the combination of their Good & Bad Vibrations / Energy / Beliefs. The child always resembles his parents, by default. However, how the child is further nurtured by the Parents is decided on a day-to-day basis. For example, if there are two extremely negative, money-deprived, low-self-esteemed parents, and they are in the gestation period, if they bump into this Spiritual knowledge and transform themselves and their Thought Patterns / Energy / Vibrations, they will automatically end up transforming the soul that is already in the womb.
The Child's Mind
Now, although the child's Brain is 'under development', the child's Mind is all set to 'receive' all that it can. They do not discern what's right and what's wrong, but they 'download' everything that's being sent to them, and learn to use it as truth. You and I do that too (for example while watching television). It's so subtle that we don't even realize how we take the information from outside and gradually start considering it as the truth of life. The beauty of this game of energy is that although one can hear, smell, taste, see, touch through his senses, one does not need the physical senses to feel or experience the emotions or energy that is present around.
Telepathy is not just a concept or theory. It is practical. It is constantly happening amongst us. Telepathy involves no physical senses and happens between two Souls / Minds. It's exchange of Thoughts through the transmission of Energy from one person to another. Do you think your Thoughts are NOT being catched by your newborn / child?
Negative Criticism is Destructive
Well, criticism is always negative, but this is to highlight how negative it is. Every single word that a parent speaks is as precious as Oxygen to a child. Even today, despite having all of this spiritual knowledge and awakening, what my mum speaks to me makes me think twice. Imagine how it must have been during the childhood?
We - as parents or elders - hardly take care of what we speak to our children or in front of our children out of our own frustration or anger or resentment towards life. One common way is to criticize the child with the belief that the child will be empowered or that he will fearfully perform better towards what we think is right for him.
Yes, getting high marks in the exam is important, behaving well in front of guests is important, listening to what parents advise is important, but when the child does not do that, parents speaking words such as, "You're no good. You don't deserve anything. You're not like others. You're bad. You're not better than others" highly highly damages the child's thought process. Just how in a Software Development Life Cycle, how the product is built during the Development Phase defines how a product will function later, what a child learns during his early years creates and defines his personality. And when the world later begins to "test" the child, he is lost. Not that he's a loser, but that's how he has been programmed during his childhood - to feel unworthy, to feel unintelligent, to feel low in self-esteem. This goes on unless and until the child meets someone like me, for example, who has this deep spiritual knowledge to share with him and reempower him.
I am not doubting the intention of parents, but it's not just about intention anymore. Actions also matter. You don't want your child to feel unloved or unworthy, but your actions are probably making him feel that way anyway. You may say that the child must understand the parent's intention, but let's understand this scientifically. You may have read on the 'Your Brain' article that the child's cognitive or interpretational skills are only under development until the age of 6 or 7, so he cannot discern your intention from your actions. If you stop talking to him just because he commits a mistake, he does not understand his mistake, but starts considering himself unworthy. Go ahead and talk to him. Explain him lovingly and respectfully what your opinion and point of view is. That's how you can develop his understanding towards yourself and towards life, besides strengthening your relationship with him.
Spiritual Lifestyle for a Parent
When the child fails in his exams, the FIRST best thing a parent can do is celebrate that moment, so that as the child grows up, he will not fear failure. Of course he won't celebrate the failure, but he will at least not fear it. One who conquers the fear of failure is always successful. If you shout at your child in the 5th Class, because he failed in one subject, don't be shocked if he commits suicide when his girl-friend betrays him. Both are types of failures, isn't it? By shouting at the failure of their children, parents only induce the Fear of Failure and a lowered self-worth and self-esteem into the child's mind!
It IS the duty of the parent to tell him how important it is to work more diligently, however, it comes SECOND.
When the child gets hurt by a table, the parent beats the table just to make the child laugh. The parent fails to understand that the child is learning that irrespective of how he walks in life, it is someone or something else that causes him pain. http://bit.ly/SagarLOA
Babies are the most CONNECTED to their inner guidance. Even though they cannot take actions, they are completely faced towards their well-being and happiness (that's how they get things done), even while crying ;)
WE break their connection with that eternal pure source of Godly stream by teaching all sorts of 'wrong' things over a period of time :)
The best way to nurture a child is to let him be / do ANYTHING that he wants, and let him learn on his / her own, let him do a VARIETY of mistakes, while only observing it and providing mild / gentle feedback from a distance of 1 mile.
Top 5 DON'Ts for Parents:
→ Never ever make fun of your kids in front of others
→ Never listen to every single demand your kids make to you
→ Never stop talking to your kids for their mistake(s)
→ Never ever cry in front of your kids (applies to getting angry too)
→ Never entice your kids to a reward and make them perform
The corresponding DO's will be updated here soon.