bit.ly/TheVictimMentality | Reviewed & appended: Dec 2022
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This is the perfect place for this article. You will read and understand in the subsequent articles that nobody does anything "to" you. You are a magnet, and depending your Thoughts and Perception about the world, you attract those kinds of people and circumstances towards you, and end up magnifying your Good or Bad Beliefs. Nothing that is going on is wrong. It is only a match / mirror / reflection of you. You will understand more about this as you read ahead.
On reading the previous article (Your Magical Powers), someone may have an obvious question as to why we don't experience or use those powers, if their benefit is such huge. The reason behind this is our habitual usage of the behavioral patterns that we have developed and strengthened over a period of time.
It is easier to use Anger to have our kids listen to us, Tears to have the boyfriend give us roses, Jealousy to take up bigger jobs and buy that more expensive car. Let me correct that - it's not "easy" as such. It's just habitual. We've just not practiced the positive thinking habits enough.
Negative thinking impairs the body, and also disrupts
its ability to stay in its natural state of health.
is the result of the negative emotions described ahead on this page. The intensity of such feeling varies from moment to moment, however, whenever you feel it, it makes you feel like everything and everyone is against you. You lash out on others, you throw childish tantrums, you, then, feel guilty about your behavior, you want to be isolated, you blame others for your sadness, and you build walls against you. None of this is desired, fruitful, or pleasant. You end up in hurting yourself and others, and that only creates more negativity.
Once you acknowledge your negative feelings and begin working on them with the understanding that you have the control over your own Thoughts and Feelings, it becomes very easy to get out of this vicious Victim Mentality Loop.
Let's go through a few prominent feelings / emotions / tools that we have practiced so much that they feel natural to us, and let's try to understand whether they really Benefit our well-being or Block it.
|Other Negative Emotions|
Anger is the result of someone doing something we don't want OR someone not doing something that we want. It is basically an attempt to change others. We all want everyone around us to be like us (also known as conformity), and since that's hardly ever possible, we get angry. Well, your wife or your mother or your best friend will mold themselves to please you. They may even mold themselves for lifelong to keep you pleased, but since this is temporary molding (and not a permanent change), it won't last forever, and you will continue to use them as reasons to get angry and stay dissatisfied. You will also find NEW reasons to get angry, because it's YOUR habit.
The best way to deal with anger is to - first of all - not call it "my nature". Keeping quiet or silent when you start getting annoyed is the first important step to not express anger outside. Even if there is noise inside your Mind, once you distance yourself from the situation, you can deal with it. It is foolishness to express your anger at someone during a moment, because often (almost always) you do not know where the other person is coming from.
We think we get angry at someone else, but it is the residual negativity that is the cause of the anger we express and end up punishing ourselves. The consequence of anger is that you get unstable, you make the environment unstable, you hurt those around you (often unnecessarily), and you finally pus love, loved ones, and loving people away from you.
Who likes angry people?
People always keep away from angry people.
Have you ever come across someone who says,
"I love people who get angry!"?
Anger makes your intellect dull, whereas Silence of the Mind sharpens it. You don't get tired by working for 8-10 hours as much as you get tired by getting angry for 8-10 minutes.
Be clear in your Mind and you will not feel the need to express it through anger. It is often people who are unclear in their Thoughts (and about their Behavior) OR not very good in communicating their Thoughts to others that use anger as the medium to do that. Anything that you express through anger backfires in one form or another.
Convert Anger to Humor / Comedy.
It works in 99% of the scenarios.
Once you're angry, it's already too late. Therefore, try to work on Anger Prevention, instead of Anger Management. I have a few Mind Exercises and Conflict Management Tools that you can use for this sake. You may also get in touch for more.
Someone has done something bad to you and you want to give it back to them? Well, the feeling of Revenge is emotionally better-feeling than the feeling of Despair (Just like how -1 is greater than -10). You get into an action mode, feel more powerful in revenge than you do in despair. I am talking about this in purely spiritual terms considering the range of emotions and their experiences we receive.
However, revenge BOOSTS your mood only momentarily / temporarily. If you feel revengeful for longer than that shift from Despair to Hope, it turns into Frustration and Resentment, which again blocks your Creativity. Some people live their entire lives in revenge, denying themselves of all the wellness they would otherwise receive. This is because although -1 is greater than -10, it's still negative 😊
The feeling of revenge dissipates when you realize that you are a magnet who attracted those "wrong people" or "wrong situations" into your life. They were not "wrong". Your thinking was "wrong". Let's dig deeper. Let's not blame you. Your thinking was just incorrect, because of your experiences / beliefs. That is why all of that happened.
Realizing your power to be able to Focus and Create anything that you desire in life is the only shortcut method to stop thinking about someone else's bad. Sounds simplistic, but that's highly empowering. On recognizing your Power to Create (that you may have read about in the previous article Your Powers), nothing else remains a big deal. You understand that even if someone did something that was unethical or socially or morally (or any-ally) unacceptable, if YOU faced it, it was to teach you something. That something is something that you will read about as you continue to read these articles. Besides that, it - at least - led you to wanting to have this knowledge about the self, which has given you the key to an extremely satisfying and fulfilling and magical life. You will no longer condemn anyone thereafter.
Whether others realize their mistakes or not is now irrelevant, isn't it? Now that you are consciously aware of your inner abilities, it is your 'job' to be happy and magnetize what you Desire. Now what you can call those bad experiences is 'Clarifying Experiences'. They clarified you about what you want, and you can now make use of those experiences as stepping stones and ladders to transform your Thoughts and take them in the direction of what you desire.
And this is the reason you should forgive others. Not for their good or not to show how great you are, but just to keep your Thoughts / Energy from being polluted with any traces and tinges of negativity.
Jealousy is something deep down, hard to recognize, and harder to acknowledge. Ego becomes a huge barrier when it comes to acknowledging jealousy. Acknowledging to whom? Not to the world, but to yourself.
Jealousy is just as futile as Revenge. Jealousy basically comes from a few incorrect beliefs. First is the need to be like others. Second is to look at what others have as the benchmark to Happiness. Third is to compete with others. And fourth - most important - is forgetting that you can Create your own Life as precisely and accurately as you want to.
Leave everything apart, even if you simply realize that you are a Powerful Creator, and that you can Create ANYTHING you Desire in your Life (irrespective of what others have, and without the need to get your Desire certified / validated from another person), Jealousy automatically vanishes. The basic change in Thought that you need to do is from, "I am Jealous of that" to "I like that". It makes a whole new difference and it begins to magnetize towards you likeable things like that. Looks simplistic, but that's how simple it is.
All that is mentioned above is about YOU feeling jealous. What if there's another person who you have recognized as being Jealous of you? We can sense it, can't we? It's not with the motive of judging someone, but just being able to recognize it.
I understand how uncomfortable one feels on finding out that someone is Jealous of us. All you have to do is Not Care. I have several talks on this on my YouTube Channel
Fear is at the root of all Negative Emotions. Fear is always that of loss. Loss of physical possession or loss of something that is non-physical e.g. respect, image, an emotional bond with someone etc.
These times are, infact, called the age of Fear.
You have nothing to lose. Everything that you "possess" is your Creation. YOU have attracted it into your life. Isn't that empowering to know? Doesn't that make you feel more confident that you can attract more of it by merely understanding how creation works? Doesn't that relieve you from the Fear of losing something? Because, even if you lose something, you can always re-create it, as many times as you want - in fact, its better versions as well.
There is nothing to Fear, because there is nothing to Lose.
It's always a learning curve and a reminder that it's only a temporary separation, and unless you disallow it by your Negative Thinking, that thing (in fact, its better version like I said) can come back to you very easily.
You may have read in the previous article 'What is your role?' that Freedom is the basic nature of every single human being. So, when the police come to your house, when someone tries to get emotionally attached to you, when someone deprives you of something, or when someone tries to become an obstacle in your success, a strong Negative Emotion of the Fear of Loss of Freedom is generated inside of you, which makes you uncomfortable. You do not lose Freedom in real, but you just Fear its loss. When you realize that the Freedom that you are looking for is the Freedom of Thoughts, and that once you use this Freedom enough, your Energy can powerfully change and magnetize anything and everything that you want, such Negative Emotion does not get created within you, and no matter what the situation is, you will always be Happy, Joyous, and Flying - thus, achieving the Purpose of your life.
So, even though many people say that Fear is the root of all the Negative Emotions you experience, I would like to be more specific and say that Fear of the Loss of Freedom is the root of all your Negative Emotions.
Dr. Rick Hanson mentions in his book 'Hardwiring Happiness' - Our ancestors could make two kinds of mistakes:
(1) thinking there was a tiger in the bushes when there wasn't one, and (2) thinking there was no tiger in the bushes when there actually was one. The cost of the first mistake was needless anxiety, while the cost of the second one was death. Consequently, we evolved to make the first mistake a thousand times to avoid making the second mistake even once... the default setting of the brain is to overestimate threats, underestimate opportunities, and underestimate resources both for coping with threats and for fulfilling opportunities.
Then, we update these beliefs with information that confirms them, while ignoring or rejecting information that doesn't. There are even regions in the amygdala specifically designed to prevent the unlearning of fear, especially from childhood experiences.
As a result, we end up preoccupied by threats that are actually smaller or more manageable than we'd feared, while overlooking opportunities that are actually greater than we'd hoped for. In effect, we've got a brain that's prone to "paper tiger paranoia".
And what's at the root of all of this? Fear of Loss. That's the special power of Fear.
Other Negative Emotions
One recommendation that I always have for everyone is - whenever you feel like crying, just remind yourself that you've either not understood the law of attraction well, or you've temporarily forgotten it.
Crying, getting angry, feeling hopelessness, resentment, mourning, feeling jealous is a sheer wastage of one's 'Creation Time'.
We, spiritually awakened beings, now have the ability to Create / Manifest everything that we desire... that too with the most accurate precision in which we think about something, and that too based on choice, not based on competition or peer pressure.
It has been found that one negative experience in life needs at least three positive experiences to nullify its emotional impact. It has also been found that one Negative Interaction with an intimate partner requires at least five positive interactions to be counterbalanced.
Whoa! That's too much work, I'd say.
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