Life Hacks by Sagar | Kya LADKE Frocks pehen sakte hain?

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Kya LADKE Frocks pehen sakte hain?



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Transcript

Received this very sweet gift from someone. It is basically a pillow with my Photo printed on it. Oh My God! Very sweet.

Today's topic is, "CAN BOYS WEAR FROCKS?"

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Now, I'm not going to say that there are so many guys on the Internet who cross-dress, wear frocks, wear wigs / hairbands, wear lipsticks / nailpolish, which is why guys can do these things. No. We do not need Proof or Evidence of somebody doing something in order to begin considering it as normal. We do not need Validation at that level as well. Let me give you a real-life example.

Me, my mother, my uncle (mother's brother), and my niece (i.e. my uncle's daughter's daughter) were sitting in a room. A boy (a neighbor) had come as well. The niece is 2 years old, and the boy is 10 years old, and he plays a lot with her. My niece had worn a very beautiful dress with a hairband that had a very big flower. She took off her hairband and threw it across the room. To make her wear it properly, the 10-year-old boy said, "Why did you throw it? Should I wear it?" My mother said to that niece, "Say to him, 'You're not a girl. You cannot wear it.'" I was sitting there, and I was like, "How can somebody say such a thing in front of me!?"

Now, I'm not an Activist, but I'm openly Gay. My mother has seen my dances. The only thing that I said (in Marathi) was, "Khara mhanje asa kahich nasta...", which means it is not true that boys can't do all of these things. And then there was silence for a couple of seconds.

The point here is: We cannot tell someone WHAT TO DO, and WHAT NOT TO DO. We have no rights to do that, and I'm neither talking about Legalities, nor talking about Moralities. All that I'm saying is that each individual can choose what he / she wants to do. So, if someone is comfortable doing something - for example, recently, for the first time in life, I'd worn a (black-colored) nailpaint. If I am comfortable doing it, I will do it, but if I feel - despite being openly Gay, despite doing all of these acts and dances, despite knowing myself inside-out, and despite having wholly, completely, and unabashedly accepted myself the way I am - if I feel that my hands are a bit soft / delicate-looking, and by wearing a nailpaint they will look a bit girly / effeminate, and I do not want them to look that way, which is why I don't want to wear it, then THAT IS MY CHOICE. So, nobody can tell me, "Sagar, don't wear a nailpaint, you're not a girl.", and nobody can tell me, "Sagar, wear it! Be proud of yourself, and it's okay if your hands look girly." I will choose what to do and what not to do!

So, for example, if there's a confused bisexual guy who tells at home that he's STRAIGHT. Does all things with Gay People, while telling everyone that he's STRAIGHT (duh!), and wants to cross-dress, then I (as his parent) cannot stop him from cross-dressing OR I (as an openly Gay guy) cannot ask him to do it. Basically, we need to understand that each individual has his / her own evolution, understanding, and a journey. So, what a person does in his / her own personal life is based on where that person is on his / her own individual & personal journey. So, whether I am a homophobic parent or a Gay activist, I have no rights to shove my (half-baked) ideologies down somebody's throat.

The only message that I'm trying to give here is: LET THE WORLD BE AS IT IS. Like I always say, NOTHING IS PERFECT, BUT EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY FINE THE WAY IT IS. We do not need to take an extreme approach.

If I'm a homophobic person, then it is my job to correct myself. If I'm an openly Gay guy, then my job is to focus on my journey (instead of others'). If I want to write GAY on my (say, Instagram) Profile, then I cannot say that every openly Gay guy should write it. If I don't want to write GAY (or if I'm not even comfortable writing it), then I cannot say that IT IS NOT NECESSARY to write. Every person has his / her own FREEDOM OF CHOICE. You just need to focus on what makes you Happy - as long as it is not illegal and (probably) immoral.


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