Life Hacks by Sagar | Gay India - Come Out & Be Free

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Gay India - Come Out & Be Free

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Below is the version uploaded by Antony on his YouTube Channel Equality4All:

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Hey guys, this is Sagar Sonker from Pune. I worked in I.T. Software for more than 10 years. I quit my full-time job 7 years ago. I came out of the closet to my mother 8 years ago in 2012 when I was running behind someone for love. Two years later, when I got back to my senses, I came out to the world through Facebook. Life has been awesome since then, and this is what I would like to talk about.

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Everyone's coming out time is different [hesitates]. That sounds very wrong. Pun unintended, but coming out of the closet is what I'm talking about here. It is a very unique experience, a very personal experience. It cannot be forced. So, despite the fact that I can take the advantage of my age, and use the words like "should" and "must" in this talk, it is a very personal experience. It is something that an individual needs to decide.

But I see many guys, many youngsters who say that they cannot really come out of the closet or they cannot be with a guy, because the society is not ready, because the society does not accept. Today itself I was talking to a very old [college days] friend, who said that it will take at least 25 more years for the Indian society to accept Homosexuality completely, or for Homosexuality to be considered as a very very normal part of life. He said that You and I will be dead by then, and I was like, "Really? Did he just say that?"

But let me tell you very blatantly. The society as a whole is never ever going to be ready. Not in 5, 10, or 20 years at all, and here's a very important reason behind that.

There are so many countries around the world where Homosexuality is completely accepted by Laws. Gay Sex sexual activity or Gay Marriages as well are completely recognized and legal, but there are so many people within those countries as well (with their own beliefs) who still consider Homosexuality as Dirty, Abnormal, and Unnatural as well. Therefore, the society as a whole (or the complete society) is NEVER going to be ready. It is one's individual's choice as to whether one wants to lead a beautiful and (mentally) free life, or just continue to live closeted with burden on the head (mind).

After a specific age, you can be a little bossy, and I definitely do that [sniggers] with people who I am very fond of, but I do that out of love, affection and out of a lot of respect, but that's not what I'm doing here at all. It is very important to realize that there is not going to be one day when everybody around you is going to sit in a circle, and say to you, "OK, fine. We are ready. Come out of the closet." You have to decide, and at least begin going on that path.

Now, I'm, obviously, not talking about the people who are on that path already, but those who use the society or their own lack of self-acceptance as the excuse to stay closeted, and to say, "No, my family and my parents will not accept me." So, when you yourself decide that the people around you are not going to accept you, it only means that you have not accepted yourself, because when you are clear about yourself, everybody around you accepts you exactly the way you are.

People like me - who are so openly, and (should I say this?) shamelessly Gay - were clear. I was clear that I wanted to be transparent to the people who mattered to me, and they were not in hundreds... just 2 or 3 people who mattered to me. I wanted to be transparent and clear to them about what I am and how I would like to lead my life. I did not want to do anything secretly, because that would have been like a disrespect of their trust on me.

By you doing something secretly, and showing yourself to be something else to the people who love you, you disrespect their love, isn't it? That was the sole reason why I chose to come out of the closet.

Moreover, that does not mean that I was felicitated on disclosing my sexual orientation. Of course, there was a journey. There were a lot of ups and downs, and it was not as easy as it sounds here, but there was a lot of 'educating them' in the direction of letting them know (and understand) that Homosexuality is not unnatural or dirty or something wrong.

Being Gay is not a choice, but coming out of the closet is definitely a choice. Therefore, I would strongly urge and encourage everyone listening is, especially the ones who are not yet out to their families or loved ones to... (not come out right now, but) at least head in that direction. At least start thinking in that direction. Stop blaming it on people and stop using people / society as the excuse to stay closeted, and say that people are not yet ready. People are never going to be ready. That is my experience. The moment you satisfy their 10 dreams, they come up with 10 new dreams for you to fulfill or satisfy. Therefore, you have to be happy in your own life, and the only way to be happy in your own life is to Be (Mentally) Free. You cannot carry baggages, and definitely go in some wrong direction, and spoil your own life and many everybody else unhappy as well.

Therefore, be strong and at least start heading in that direction, and if you need any guidance or any help or any tips or at least a little motivation, feel free to get in touch with me at any time.

Like I always [sniggers] say, "No Pics = No Reply". What that means is - it is very easy to create a Fake Profile and follow Naked Men on Facebook. That's a very ordinary life, isn't it? (I urge you to) Be special. If you want to follow Naked Men, do that through your real profile. Now, that's what I'm talking about.

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