Life Hacks by Sagar | Social Media, & Self-esteem

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Social Media, & Self-esteem

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Since birth, we are used to running behind things. Grabbing things, and bringing them in our possession. It could be grabbing physical, material things, and bringing them in our lives, or also trying to grab situations, circumstances, or conditions that are favorable to us, and trying to hold on to them, trying to keep them with us for as long as possible. It starts at birth, and it does not stop until death. But one of the most simplest, and the most important things that nobody teaches us - neither at home, nor in school - is the understanding of one's (or our own) Self-esteem.

Nobody is to be blamed here, but parents - who are not even aware of the idea of Self-esteem, or who have never paid attention to their Self-esteem, or working on raising it - have nothing to impart to their kids. As teenagers, as kids grow, they are prone to receiving a lot of negativity from the world out there, because this is a world full of people. So, a teenager who has no idea or has never worked on, or has never been given the knowledge of Self-esteem, is more vulnerable than kids who have this idea, or kids who have parents with high Self-esteem. A kid or a teenager who has very low Self-esteem is more prone to receiving CBT (Criticism, Bullying, Trolling) and all such sorts of negative experiences from the people around. Nobody is to be blamed here, but a person with a lower Self-esteem has higher chance of pulling that or is, basically, more vulnerable to those kinds of negative experiences - what I like to call Emotional Attacks - are the attacks that happen from Peers.

Those attacks can be on that person's body, that person's height, weight, skin color, anything and everything - the money that that person has, how rich that person is as well, the looks of that person, the behavior of that person, little-little traits to big traits as well, to traits like what phone that that teenager uses.

So, in order to avoid those Emotional Attacks, that person tries to fit into the world, fit into the crowd. In order to fit in, that person would take external measures to prevent those attacks. So, if someone attacks my body, I would try to make changes in my body. If someone tries to attack the phone that I have, I'll go to my parents, and cry in front of them to get me a new mobile phone, the latest mobile phone. If someone shames me on my skin color, I would go and do anything in the world to look how they want me to look. If someone says that I am not sexually active - this happens with many teenagers. Many people are also trolled for or bullied or made fun of, because they're virgins. So, I would indulge into sexual activities at a very very early stage as a teenager, just to fit into the crowd. So, instead of taking internal measures to raise my Self-esteem, or to work on those traits, or basically, build immunity to not be affected by those emotional attacks - instead of working on myself, I would only try to fit into the crowd by taking these superficial or very very temporary or external measures.

Even if talk about the times before the Social Media, there was a survey conducted somewhere around the late 90s, in which it was discovered that Teenagers indulge into sexual activities or, basically, they find or have a partner just to look cool to their friends. It was also found as a result of the survey that was done that 75% of girls were willing to or they already had changed their physical appearance just for boys. Just to look attractive to boys or just because they felt that that is what the boys demanded or expected from girls.

Fast Forward to the noisy times of today. Take an example of an Application like TikTok, wherein the total number of LIKES is displayed on your Profile. Even if it may get removed, the emphasis on LIKES is extremely high, which is very bad. So, you would do anything to raise that number - for others to see that that number on your Profile is high. There is a link that I've left in the Description ( that shows a video of a very cute Indian guy. He's cute and good-looking, but what he has done is extremely disgusting. It shows how low the level of thinking of a teenager (or a young guy) can go (stoop) to. This does not mean that that guy is bad, but the Thinking Level. Just to gain LIKES - and that video does have tens of thousands of LIKES - it is promoted (boosted) by TikTok, which is a shame as well. It shows how youngsters are read to do anything to get approved by others, and who would want to get approved by others? Only a person who has very very low Self-esteem, because such a person is not Self-Approved.

Now, I'm mostly referring to teenagers here, because that's when your life is built. So, even if you're not a teenager right now, you can look back at your life (at your teen age) and figure out a few things - may be remember a few things - you will realize that those are the issues that are still somewhere present within you in the form of Beliefs. Teenage is that age when a person's life is shaped. Your Self-esteem is MADE or BROKEN during those years, and once it is broken, it takes a lot of hard work and years to work on raising it. Like I said 'to fit into the world' is a very subtle and subconscious idea. It is not as easy as it may sound here, but it is so natural and so subconscious to many many many people that they don't even realize that all that they're trying to do is 'Just Fit In'. And in order to fit in - especially as a Teenager - one may do things that are totally unrealistic or aberrant from what that person eventually wants in life.

Now, a Teenager cannot really be expected to understand that 'You should not fit in, you should stand out', but, like I said, if this is not being taught in schools, if parents themselves are unaware of this, nobody is there to teach a child, isn't it? So, that Teenager would run behind PERFECTIONISM. Now, Perfectionism itself is a huge topic in Psychology, and that is extremely dangerous to one's individuality, specially when it is stretched beyond the desired limits. That can also lead to you putting yourself into unhealthy competitions, and making your life even more miserable, which can also cause CONFIDENCE CRISIS. That is another huge topic in Psychology as well, but the worst thing that can happen is, 'Parental Child-invested Contingent Self-esteem', which means the parent is dependent on the child's achievements in order to feel good about himself / herself. This is the most dangerous thing in the world for a healthy Parent-Child relationship. So, all of these issues are essentially linked to Self-esteem, and the lower the Self-esteem, the worse your life becomes, and let me come to that in the next segment.

So, you may ask, "What's the problem with having a low Self-esteem? How does it really matter?" Well, it does. When you have a low Self-esteem, your Energy is very low. Your energy is very bad and very negative, due to which you are prone to attracting or drawing towards yourself only the negativity from the world. There might be positive things happening around you, but you only draw towards yourself... negative stuff, negative people. (With a low Self-esteem,) you are not able to make friends, or keep them, you have financial issues in your life, you are unable to perform well at work, despite being intelligent. You can't really handle negative situations properly. You have partner issues as well... and then we all start considering these issues as parts and parcels of life, which they are not (supposed to be). When you raise your Self-esteem or work on that, you actually see a difference in your manifestations or what you draw towards yourself, which is why, it is important to do something about it.

Despite the number of parents who surveyed their kids' activities has more than doubled in the last 2-3 decades, Self-esteem of kids (teenagers or young guys or girls) has not really increased over a period of time. It has only deteriorated or lowered, and that is evident from apps like TikTok and Instagram, where kids (or youngsters, or many of them below 25, or anybody who hasn't really done anything to work on themselves) are doing 'anything' just to gain attention or acceptance from others. And that is only, because they do not love themselves or they have not approved of themselves or they have not accepted themselves the way they are. They are ready to do 'anything' to gain that external validation. It is important to remember that a guy or a girl with low Self-esteem is not a bad human being at all. In fact, that boy or girl may be highly intelligent as well. That person may have very very good values as well. That person may be very good in academics as well. That person may be very good in doing certain things as well. That person may be very meticulous or hardworking as well, but despite having all of those good traits, because you have a very low Self-esteem, you are not able to achieve anything in life. That one missing piece always remains missing in your life, when you come forth and do everything in your life with a low Self-esteem. Therefore, working on your Self-esteem is extremely important.

So, how do you work on your Self-esteem and raise it? How do you know whether you have a low Self-esteem? Just look at your life. If you are seeing negativity, and feeling bad about it, that is the indicator of you not being able to handle those situations correctly or properly or positively or powerfully. So, do something about that. Even if you look at people around (without judging them, without labeling someone as a person with a low Self-esteem) you will see that a particular person is doing very good. That person is actually very good, or capable, but somehow he / she is not able to achieve things in life. That is the indicator of that person approaching things in life with very low energy. So, that person needs to raise his / her energy in order to see better experiences or have better manifestations in life. But, we are not supposed to focus on others. We are supposed to focus on ourselves. Do everything that you can do in order to not seek attention or approval from others. Do everything (that you want to do) in the world, but don't show it to others in order to gain their acceptance. Do it for yourself. Do it for the love of yourself. Do it, because you enjoy doing it. These are very basic steps to working on your Self-esteem, working on raising your Self-esteem. Do everything with the attitude of learning from it, and applying it to your real life. Irrespective of what happens, say to yourself, "I still love myself. I am still doing pretty good. I'm fine wherever I am, and wherever I've come in life so far, even if that may have been a very long phase of low Self-esteem, I'm still fine. I'm still okay. I have learned a lot, and I would like to apply that learning to my future."

There are many other videos on under the Life Hacks section, in which you can find a lot of knowledge about yourself, which will help you in reconnecting with yourself. The moment you are reconnected with yourself, your Self-esteem begins to rise on a continuous basis, and as long as you are working on yourself by practicing some simple Mind Exercises that are available on the website itself. This is not about me promoting those Mind Exercises as such. This is about finding something that helps you in reconnecting with yourself, and that list of Mind Exercises is an elaborate-enough life for you to pick up any one that you like, and practice it on a daily basis to see results in your life. Results are real. The way you may be seeing some negativity in your life, and let's assume that that is because of low Self-esteem... The moment you start working on yourself, the moment you start building your Energy, you will know that you are becoming more and more powerful and capable. You will feel much better about yourself. You will no longer seek approval or attention from others. You will not even seek love. You will not have or want or need someone else to love you in order to feel better about yourself, in fact, you will be self-loving, and will be able to impart that love to others as well. You will actually be able to radiate that love to others... and the situations and circumstances that you see thereafter will be much much much improved. That will be the proof of your raised Self-esteem.

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