.Easy Life Hacks by Sagar -
Sadness Increases on Sharing
When you order a Pizza from Domino's or Pizza Hut for yourself and your family, you share the pizza with everyone around, and naturally, you are just left with a piece. So, when you share your pizza or your chocolate, or your money with someone else, your share of it reduces.
Unfortunately, humans have taken this analogy to believe that similar to a pizza, sadness also reduces on sharing with another human being. We all say that happiness increases on sharing, then why do we say that sadness reduces on sharing? The reason behind that is very deep, and let's take a deep dive into it.
Acceptance is what we seek
Each time you share the sadness of your life with someone, all that you need is that the opposite person accepts you and your thoughts. Believe it or not, you just want them to agree with you. Just think about it.
Two people who will always accept you are your mother and your best friend. Wait... they accept you only 99% It is only a Life Coach or a Counsellor (or a mentor of a similar kind) who will accept you and understand your Thoughts 100% but let's come to that point later.
One who feels sad only does so because one thinks incorrectly. It is only incorrect thinking that leads to sadness. Yes, you heard me right. It's not other people or their erratic behavior that makes you sad. It is your interpretation or perception of it that makes you sad. Yes, people DO behave weird. I don't deny that, but if YOU are getting affected by that, YOU need to develop your mental immunity and not get affected by the negativity around.
And expecting someone else to accept you the way you want is like expecting a bucket with a hole at the bottom to fill with water. People are very incapable of that these days. Majority of them. There are only a few thousands or lakhs who are truly broad-minded and open-minded to accept you with your flaws. And if you are listening to or read this Life Hack, chances are that you are not living your life with one of those.
Here's the proven solution to this: Accept and Appreciate yourself. Be happy about who you are, and what life has presented to you. Once you cross this barrier in your own mind, you will start seeing solutions and it will then be much easier for you to develop new behavioral patterns to face such people and situations effectively. The word "effectively" is very important here. Just facing it and then sulking later is not what I am talking about. Facing it Happily and Positively, and then emerging out as a Strong person (not to show anyone, but for yourself) is what effectiveness means.
We crave for acceptance so much that we put up negative WhatsApp / Facebook statuses, just to have at least a stranger accept us. This is the level of self-esteem we've reached today, and it is alarming.
You don't want a solution when you're sharing your sadness
Generally, when you share your sad stories with another person, you are not solution-oriented. You just want to share it, because you have developed a habitual pattern of sharing your Thoughts with someone who agrees with you.
However, sharing it with a Life Coach or a Counsellor (or a mentor of a similar kind) is a different game altogether. Haha, no, I'm not promoting my Life Coaching Services here, but I'm trying to highlight the difference. You are solution-oriented, your attitude is different, you want to develop and learn something in that discussion, and that always takes you in the positive direction. That's certainly not what happens when you share your sadness with your mother. Unless she is a spiritually awakened mother, she will only find temporary patch-work workaround, and stop you from crying for those few minutes. While doing that she may say things that she really shouldn't, and end up making you a more negative person. Her intention is right, but her approach is usually that from a place of emotional attachment towards you, which really does not make you a strong person. She loves you, and she wants you to be happy, but unless it is someone who is aware of these aspects of life, she cannot really give you a solution. It will only be a workaround. You know the difference between a Solution and a Workaround?
When you go to a restaurant with your loved ones, and if you taste a dish that tastes horrible, do you ask your family members or loved ones to taste it too or do you protect them from it? Then why do you share your sadness with them?
Why strengthen your negative thinking patterns?
A Pizza is a physical thing, the share of which reduces on sharing, but Emotions strengthen on sharing. You share only what you have. You share only what you've not removed from yourself. You share only what you've kept inside of you. In fact, by putting words to it, you reingrain or strengthen it inside of you... and then the Law of Attraction keeps bringing more of it back at you, because that's how your energy is.
So, yes, WORK is required in this, and there will definitely be a part of you that will STOP you from working on this. That part is Resistance to Change, and even if this is positive change, you will feel uncomfortable when it comes to changing yourself. So, now, you need to make a choice, right now - whether you want to work on cleaning up your energy (i.e. essentially your negative thinking patterns) or you want to keep perpetuating the negative patterns.
A domino effect or chain reaction is the cumulative effect produced when one event sets off a chain of similar events.
The least good thing that you can do in this world is share your positivity and goodness with those in your life. On the other hand, the worst thing that you inadvertently end up doing is sharing your Sad Thoughts with those around you. You do that, because they often don't judge you or ask you to change, which is very comforting.
We get so busy sharing our sad stories with our loved ones that we often fail to realize the effect that it has on them. We just want to vent out without realizing the impact that it has on the opposite person. Unless the opposite person is someone who is consciously working on himself / herself, you are killing that person with your negativity. If the opposite person is weak and very emotionally sensitive by nature, you are worsening their health and well-being beyond what you realize while doing that. You are helping them create worry, concern, and sadness within themselves.
Keeping sadness, unresolved issues, past hurt, or wounded pains within yourself for a prolonged period of time manifests into diseases and illnesses, and by sharing your negativity you only spread those diseases indirectly.
Thus, you are spreading your negativity out there into the world and two things are happening here:
First - the Universe wants to balance the energy, so any extra negative (or positive) energy you give out has to come back to you. "Return to the Center" as it is said.
Second - as I said above, you are reingraining those thinking habits within you, and strengthening your negative energy, which the Law of Attraction will match up with life-experiences that are negative. This will continue until you eradicate it from within you.
So far, if you're still listening to or reading this (hahaha), you may have thought that I'm blaming you, which I am certainly not. I am only trying to make you realize the repercussions of this habit. To many people, simply stating the repercussions is an eye-opener, and it works like miracles in changing their behavior.
I used the perfect word - HABIT - above. Yes, it is nothing more than a habit, a practiced behavior. It is NOT (not not not not not) your NEED. It is NOT your need to share your Thoughts with another person. And this is true for common people as well. It is not that I am asking you to become a saint and leave everything. It is just very simple. If there's anything that you wish to share with those around you, share ONLY your happiness and good newsesesessss.... Nothing else. Each time you share your negativity, you are only coming across as a negative, weak and a sad person, and it is very unpleasant.
♦ STOP IT! To stop smoking, you MUST stop it. Not reduce the frequency, but completely STOP it. Positive work will come later, but at least first completely STOP talking about it. Stop putting words to your negative life-experiences, because that is how you exaggerate them.
♦ Love yourself - not under the illusion that nobody around loves you, because many people say, "I love myself, because nobody else loves me", which is not the right attitude. It is not self-love at all. In fact, the second part of that statement means that you consider yourself utterly unlovable. Love yourself, because unless you generate the energy of love from within you (by any means - by loving yourself or by DOING things that you love), you cannot attract loving people in your life.
♦ Accept and Appreciate yourself - again, not because everyone around is against you, but because once you fill yourself, you can be in a better position to radiate out the right kind of energy, and that is when your life will change, because the Law of Attraction will bring better people (or better sides of existing people) to you.
♦ Just don't care - not with the attitude of being rude or ruthless or arrogant, but don't care about the negativity. Let it not affect you. That does not mean that you suffer, but it means that you keep positive and happy anyway. Nothing is more important than you being happy, because once you are consistently happy, your energy becomes HAPPY, and attracts more happy things towards you by the virtue of the Law of Attraction.
♦ Have a Life Coach - someone who is a good listener, and someone who wouldn't judge you for your Thoughts. Someone who will keep you motivated, and push you a little bit strictly in order to get you on the right track. Constant hammering by someone positive definitely makes you positive over a period of time, and having someone who is enlightened enough to help you uplift yourself, helps!